It’s hard to accept help. I didn’t think I deserved it

IAN was 10 when he was abandoned by his mother and placed in a remand centre for older teenagers awaiting court appearances.

He was assaulted by a member of staff in the centre.

Ian said: “I should never have been put in there but it was the only place that was available.”

Over the next few years, he was moved between various temporary homes and institutions, including one where he was sexually abused.

It was years before Ian reported the abuse to the police and his IAN FRYER CHILDREN’S HOMES attacker was jailed. It was only when Ian, who works as a housing representative with Aberdeen City Council, contacted Future Pathways that he was finally able to access practical and emotional support.

He said: “I wasn’t too sure about the idea at first. When you go through childhood being told you don’t deserve anything, then suddenly you are given something, it is difficult.” The organisation funded improvements to Ian’s life. They gave him a laptop to help with his feelings of isolation and enable him to reach out to others in his community. Ian has also had trauma counselling and been put in touch with an advocacy service.

With the help of Future Pathways, he is planning his first holiday in 25 years. A train fanatic, he’s looking forward to a rail trip from Aberdeen to Penzance.

But like many survivors of abuse, Ian found it hard at first to accept help.

“It takes time to understand that when someone gives you something, they are not going to take it back or want something in return,” he added.

Ian urged other survivors of abuse to contact Future Pathways.

He said: “Take that step. They are not judgmental, they will listen to you and everything is done at your own speed. This kind of project is about improving your quality of life, trying to move on from the events of your past.”