Hollywood really wasn’t using his loaf

THOUSANDS of people on social media are still trying to get over seeing a suggestive looking loaf of bread on Bake Off this week. I hear it tastes great with a knob of butter. Careful though. If you type in the words “penis” and “Bake Off”, you’ll get a picture of Paul Hollywood in a Nazi uniform.

Aye the bold Hollywood admits having terrible regrets about being pictured wearing the costume at a fancy dress party. Does that make him a white bread supremacist?

Maybe he should jump on Rylan’s new show which involves swimming in the Atlantic while answering general knowledge questions. Presumably questions like “Why am I drowning?”, “How much am I getting paid for this?” and “What’s the mad scary thing with the big white teeth coming towards me.?” Either Jaws or Rylan, it’s hard to tell. Talking of teeth, doctors in India have successfully extracted seven teeth from a wee baby.

It was a painful operation. The baby’s screams were almost as loud as those of its maw when it was breastfeeding. Or Paul could go on Rylan’s old show like another foodie. Yes, a McDonald’s employee from Essex dazzled the judges on The X Factor. Nae surprise a Maccy D’s employee did well.

She got a lot of tips from all the previous X Factor finalists who are now working alongside her. ●A FLORAL Princess Diana tribute has gone viral after being mocked on social media for its strange appearance.

I’m not saying it’s unpopular, but apparently there’s a petition to rename it Camilla.