WIFE DETESTS MY MATE AND IT UPSETS ME

Dear Coleen

MY WIFE hates my friend and it’s making life very awkward.

The first time I introduced him, he made a derogatory remark about her religion (he and I are Catholic, while she is Protestant and it’s still a big deal here in Northern Ireland).

It’s as if she’s been holding a grudge against him ever since.

He is also a drug user and my wife is very against drug use of any kind.

To be fair, she doesn’t stop me seeing him on my own but she refused to meet up and hang out with him and his girlfriend. I don’t want my friend knowing that my wife has a problem with him but he’s beginning to smell a rat.

I know that if she gave him a chance, she would soon see what a funny and charming guy he is.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Coleen says

YOU can’t force her to like this person just because you do. And, to be honest, he hasn’t started off on the best foot.

Maybe he’s just dopey or thinks he’s funny but he hasn’t helped himself by having a go at her religious beliefs.

I think the fact that he’s a drug user is probably more of a worry for her.

She’s not stopping you from seeing him though, so I’m not sure why you think it’s such a big deal.

My husband and I have always had separate groups of friends and we’ve never socialised with each other’s friends much. I think it would only be a problem if your wife was demanding that you didn’t see this friend again.

And if he smells a rat, so what? Just be honest with him and say she doesn’t want to be around people who use drugs, but it won’t stop you hanging out together.