Dear Coleen

I’M a middle-aged woman and I’ve finally admitted to myself that I’m gay. Since then I’ve found someone I really love. She’s younger than I am – in her 20s – and our relationship seems to have split her family.

I only found out recently that her ex-fiancé has depression, her brothers have nothing to do with her and now her father won’t speak to her either.

Only her sister, who is now seeing my uncle (another controversy), has stood by her.

I guess finding out that not only is she gay, but she’s with an older woman, was too much for them to deal with in one go.

My girlfriend insists she’s happy and that I have helped her to find herself, yet I feel if I hadn’t bulldozed my way into her life, she’d be married now and her family would have their happy ending.

Should I be feeling so wracked with guilt? I’d love your advice.