I arrived in a canoe in a wet, see-through dress, with a leech stuck on my bum & soggy salt sachets hidden in my bra
her in my house. I once even burnt down the kitchen because of Carol, below, and here she was playing Vidal Sassoon with me.
How that happened was I got engrossed in Countdown and I forgot I had put some potato wedges under the grill.
The whole kitchen went up in flames and the firemen had to open every window, which brought black soot all up the new cream carpet. So we had to get a new kitchen and new carpets throughout.
My mam and dad were not happy, mostly because of my response to one of the firemen. “Are you OK?” he asked. “Not really,” I replied. “I’m absolutely starving, I was craving those wedges.” MARTIN’S MEAL We were all having such a great time in camp, having a giggle, winning loads of stars in the trials. That was until Martin Roberts and Danny Baker came in to stir things up. And yep, s*** hit the fan. Now Danny Baker was who I wanted to win and he is a man I have a lot of respect for. He is pure genius. Martin, on the other hand, well, me and him got off on the wrong foot. I don’t know if it’s because I asked if IF I could have a conversation now with my 11-year-old self I would say – Scarlett, you think you’re goofy, a little bit different to most other people; your brain constantly asks weird questions, you’re a sensitive soul who feels like she doesn’t quite fit in and struggles with accepting compliments.
I am here to tell you all of those things Homes Under the Hammer was like Changing Rooms and did they go into every house and stencil the kitchen and laminate throughout, or whether it was just because our personalities clashed.
But towards the end, I enjoyed spending time with him.
One night Lisa Snowdon made him some beans and rice. He said: “It’s fine, I don’t want any.” “What do you mean? You’ll be hungry.” “I’ll just wait for the food to come.” “This is the food.” “No, when they switch the cameras off.’
“Martin, people don’t lose a stone in are true. And 16 years on, they’re still true. But embrace it because those characteristics are what make you you.
Great things are coming, kid, you’ve just got to believe in yourself. (Also heads up, don’t admit to fancying Bart Simpson in Year 9; he is an animated character who looks like he has got severe jaundice – you will get unnecessary cr** for it.) here for nothing. This is all we eat. There are no Mars Bars dropped in.”
I was crying with laughter. He had me in stitches. It made me completely forget about being hungry. HOW DID I WIN? As I stand there shaking and smelling of mealworms, I clench Joel Dommett’s hand. Ant and Dec are about to announce who has won I’m a Celebrity.
And to be perfectly honest I have no idea how I even made it on to the show, never mind made the final two.
I was all ready to say, “Well done Joel, mate, you’ve done it, you’ve won!” But when Dec announced, “And the new ... Queen of the Jungle is...”, it took me brain at least five seconds to process what the words actually meant.
“Queen? Hang on, that must mean I have won, because well, Joel has a penis and the Queen doesn’t have a penis.”
I could barely contain my emotions as I was ushered to the throne. Wow! The show I had watched since I was 11, the show that for the past two years people had watched me watch on Gogglebox. Nothing felt real as I was crowned Queen of the Jungle. I didn’t think that I would ever win. I burst into tears. The shock and awe of it all completely overwhelmed me. It felt amazing to win. Weirdly, winning the jungle helped massively with my anxiety and panic attacks. I realised that I could fight my head demons and I was in control. I was way stronger than I thought. I also realised that I needed to stop being so anxious about being accepted. After all, people had gone out of their way to vote for me, Scarlett Moffatt – that’s little me. I felt like I had finally been accepted, not just by other people but by myself. ● Me Life Story: Sofa So Good by Scarlett Moffatt is out on Thursday in hardback. RRP £18.99 (Blink Publishing).