OBSESSING OVER MY WIFE’S LIE

Dear Coleen

I HAVE been with my wife 15 years and married for nine.

A few years ago she went out with a friend and they spent the night drinking. She sent me a couple of texts to say she was OK.

When she got home, she told me that she and her friend got a lift from two guys to another pub. She then lied and said they were old school friends but it turned out they weren’t.

I have never doubted her and she is the faithful type. She also swore she didn’t see these guys again that night, as she and her friend went off drinking and dancing.

But it’s started to drive me crazy and I’m having doubts that something did happen between her and one of these guys that night.

I know if I were a single guy I wouldn’t just pick up a couple of girls out of the goodness of my heart – I would definitely be hoping it would lead to something more. If I had done this, she would have gone ballistic.

Coleen says

DON’T compare every guy to yourself.

Why isn’t it possible they were going to the pub, too, and offered to drive them?

But even if these guys were hoping their good deed would lead to more, the fact is, your wife told you that nothing happened.

I don’t know why she lied to you about them being old school friends – perhaps because she guessed you’d react like this.

I think if this is still such a big issue for you years later and your wife has given you no other reason to doubt her loyalty and commitment, then you have to work on your own insecurities, and counselling could be a good option.

If you continue to doubt her and give her a hard time over something (and nothing) that happened years ago, then you risk driving her away.

If you love her and want your marriage to work, then you have to let it go.