French lesson
WORDS OF WISDOM AFTER TURNING 60 Star looks back on life in new book and says getting older makes her savour every minute
other family members, including Billie who she says is “very shy”. Dawn added: “None of these people have asked to be part of this. This is my life and my choices, so I have to be careful about that.” Dawn had known Mark for years, as he worked with her mum and had taken over running the centre when she retired. Dawn interviewed him for research while writing her second novel, Oh Dear Silvia. In her new book, the meeting seems like an epiphany for her – sun poured in through the window, bounced off the white wall and reflected on to his face “lighting him up as if Caravaggio and Fellini had collaborated”. She writes: “I knew in that instant we would marry, yet a minute before, he was just that bloke who was a workmate of Mum’s.” And marriage is different second time around. She said: “The person is different and so the mixture is different. There’s chemistry that’s different and all the more interesting for that. “I’m glad I’ve had both of these marriages for lots of reasons. “I didn’t imagine I’d ever be married again. I was quite happy to not be married again but I’m very glad I did.” Initially, the respective children kept an eye on their parents’ relationship but before long, they were keen for them to tie the knot. Dawn said: “They were kind of petitioning for it and were rather embarrassing, mentioning it when we hadn’t mentioned it yet. It was great to get their approval.”
But she did want a proper proposal. She said: “You do need that person to confirm it, I guess. He very firmly did ask Billie as well.”
The marriage meant she became a stepmother. Laughing, Dawn said: “The ‘step’ part, as far as I’m concerned, is ‘Don’t step on anyone’s toes’.
“You have to be massively careful that you don’t get in the way of anything that already exists. I feel massive love for these two kids.
“They are very easy-to-love people that have come into my life. An awful lot of goodness about them comes from their life before I was there.
“We are very close but respectful of their mum and their stepdad on the other side. It’s a blended family. You have to make sure everybody’s feelings are being considered.”
She agrees she probably approached marriage differently this time. Dawn said: “There isn’t acres of time ahead of us. When you get married when you’re young, you don’t even think about the future.
“When you get married in your 50s, you must savour every minute, have a bit of a shorthand and cut through the cr** a bit quicker.
“You know yourself very well and there are things that I’m absolutely prepared to compromise on and other things that I’m absolutely not prepared to compromise on.”
She remains on good terms with her ex-husband. Dawn added: “We’ve got a daughter together. We are friends. We keep a distance because we’ve got new lives and everybody needs a chance to breathe in their new life.
“But we talk all the time, always about Billie. We are very civilised and kind to each other.”
Her career is going strong – she is filming the second series of Delicious for Sky 1 and is working on a French and Saunders 30th anniversary Christmas special.
Dawn said: “It’s basically a clip show the BBC wanted to do but there have been enough times when other people have chosen the clips and they always go for the same ones.
“Jennifer and I have a fondness for the ones they don’t go for, plus we’ve got other bits of film that haven’t been seen – where we’ve been filming backstage – and we’re writing 15 minutes of new material, which has given us a little challenge.” ● Me. You. A Diary by Dawn French, £20, is out now, published by Michael Joseph.
I’ve had my loss, I’ve had my joys and all kinds of ups and downs DAWN