My wife died before having the baby we’d dreamed of.. now a school pal will carry our child
Jake says tragic Emmy will live on in shape of new son or daughter PRIDE OF BRITAIN WINNER LOST SWEETHEART TO CANCER
AS JAKE Coates described the bravery, selflessness and optimism shown by his terminally ill wife Emmy, there was barely a dry eye in the Pride of Britain audience.
Sadly, Emmy died in June, 18 months after being diagnosed with thyroid cancer and before she had the chance to realise her dream of becoming a mother.
But Jake has revealed he is planning to have the baby they’d so desperately wanted – thanks to a surrogate.
“Having a part of Emmy would be the best thing ever,” he said. “I know how much she wanted to be a mum.”
Before her death, doctors harvested her eggs and Jake’s sperm and they were left with nine viable embryos. This month, surrogate Liz Begg – an ex-schoolmate – will have an embryo implanted after a first attempt failed.
Jake revealed Emmy, 31, died believing she would be a mum when Liz became pregnant over a month before her death.
“Neither of us had ever felt a feeling like it – it was incredible,” said Jake, 32. Hours after learning the news, Emmy fell into a sleep she never fully woke from. Then the pregnancy was found to be ectopic – the baby could not survive.
Jake, of Monmouth, Wales, pictures his wife cradling that baby in heaven. He said: “I talk to Emmy every day. I like to think she’s looking down, checking in. That’s why I want to do her so proud.”
The couple met when they were 11 and by 13 Jake told his crush she was his “lobster”. They split when they went to university but reunited a decade later and by 2016, he was planning to propose in the Philippines on a cliff with fireworks.
But Jake, a doctor, found a lump in Emmy’s neck and the day before they were due to travel, they learned her cancer had spread and was incurable.
“Emmy was my missing piece,” he said. “Even before the diagnosis, we knew we were going to be together forever.” She spent her final year having chemo, planning their wedding in September last year, fundraising for The Royal Marsden Hospital in London with a 2000km tandem bike ride in Europe and writing children’s books they sold online.
They raised more than £140,000, with Jake being named ITV Fundraiser of the Year at the Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards, in partnership with TSB.
He explained: “On our first day at The Royal Marsden in April last year, we talked over options. Emmy wouldn’t be able to carry a child on chemotherapy as it would be harmful to any foetus. Even though symptomwise she was at her worst, the prospect of being able to store embryos kept her going initially.”
Emmy started a blog detailing her story and 10 people offered to be a surrogate. One of them was Liz, 32, of Hereford.
She said: “I didn’t really know them at school but I wanted to help. I have one son but I’m single. Emmy was an incredible person, so positive and gracious.”
Three weeks after the first implantation in February, they watched three pregnancy tests turn positive. But less than an hour later, Emmy could barely open her eyes.
Jake recalled: “She said, ‘I’m not going to see my baby, am I?’ I lied and said, ‘Oh, you never know,’ before she fell asleep.”
She was unconscious for most of the last two weeks but at one point woke up. Jake said: “It was like the lights came back on. She said, ‘Do you think I’m dying?’ It was the worst feeling having to say yes and see her, for the first time, scared and crying.”
But he added: “She died blissful in the knowledge we were going to have our baby.”
In the week after her death, doctors confirmed Liz was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. “I’ll always be grateful Emmy didn’t know,” Jake admitted. “Up until she died, we were pregnant.”
Now, with six embryos left, Liz says there was “never any doubt” she would give it another shot.
“A part of Emmy can live on,” she added. “I was gutted the pregnancy failed but I like the idea Emmy needed to take that baby with her.”
Jake knows one day he may face a tough conversation with their child but he hopes to pass on what Emmy taught him – to “smile, love and be kind”. He said: “Having a part of Emmy in the world is all-important. She’d have been the most incredible mum of all time.” ●The Pride of Britain Awards are on STV at 8pm on Tuesday.