I was told I was adopted.. I found out my ‘adoptive’ mother is actually my real mum
Drummer shares his incredible story and how he struggled to come to terms with the bombshell in new genealogy TV show
his real mum but she had committed a mindboggling act of betrayal.
And he struggled to come to terms with the discovery.
He said: “It was so overwhelming, like this incredible tsunami of emotion. I just couldn’t control it.
“And me being this geezer from south-east London, I thought I could.
“I went to some very dark places. I thought about ending it all.
“One minute I was top of the world, living the dream in the band and the next, I was on my hands and knees, literally.
“The only light in that time was my dad’s unconditional love. I feel so, so blessed to have had him.
“January 2000, I was in the recording studio and I ended up shaking and crying, proper wailing. I had PTSD. I went to see mum and dad.”
That moment heralded a new era for Andrew’s family.
He said: “For the first time in 13 months, my mum said, ‘I’m sorry, I love you’ and hugged me.” Finally the whole truth came out.
Joyce had been working at the Peek Frean biscuit factory in Bermondsey in the 60s and often spoke of close work friend George.
They had embarked on an affair. And Andrew might never have become part of the family.
Everyone was told he had died at birth, including Andrew’s brother. But Joyce had stayed with the baby in hospital breastfeeding him for 10 days until social
workers took him. Andrew was fostered for five months while his parents struggled with the situation.
He said: “On the day I was born, dad opened the door of the maternity ward. Mum was holding me and she said, ‘I’ve made a mistake’.
“It was the first my dad knew. He just turned on his heels and left to digest it and then he came back and they talked it through, making up the story.
“This was 1964, attitudes were so different. You didn’t air your dirty washing.
“Now we’ve got Jeremy Kyle. You got on with it in those days, and you kept your mouth shut.
“Mum would have been racked with shame and guilt and not wanting to be seen as a scarlet woman.”
Arthur and Joyce wanted their baby son back and had to jump through hoops to “adopt” him.
Andrew said: “My mum fought for me. She loved me without question. It wasn’t even 100 per cent certain that she would get me back.
“My brother had to go to court as a seven-year-old and say he would look after this new baby coming home and my dad had to stand up and say he would take this new child on.
“It was a real battle but I know mum fought for me out of love.
“What she did has had huge ramifications but I forgive her. I will always love her to bits.
“My dad passed away in 2014 and my mum’s in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s but I couldn’t wish for more loving, caring parents. I honestly couldn’t.”
Now 52, Andrew has been married to a personal trainer, 16 years his junior, for four years. They have no children.
He is looking for his Jamaican father after having his DNA analysed at website Ancestry DNA. Within moments of clicking on to his profile, Andrew found a first cousin, Ericka, in Jamaica.
Andrew is hoping to add more detail to his family tree. “She hasn’t responded to my emails – yet,” he said. ● The Secrets in My Family, tonight, 9pm on UKTV’s W Channel
Attitudes were so different in 1964. You didn’t air your dirty washing