SONS IGNORED MY SEX BAN

Dear Coleen

I READ a letter on your page recently from a woman who wanted to know how to break it to her daughter that she wouldn’t allow her boyfriend to stay in her room.

Well, I have rules about this for both my sons, who are in their early 20s.

I don’t allow sex with girlfriends in my house but recently I was shocked and angered to find out they’ve done this on numerous occasions.

Their girlfriends admitted to it, even though my sons continue to deny this has ever happened.

I feel ignored and disrespected, especially by my eldest son, who is so rude to me.

What do I do next?

Coleen says

OK, I’LL be honest, personally I don’t get why you’re so black and white about this, and why you’re so angry.

I doubt you’d have even known about it if their girlfriends hadn’t volunteered the information. I do allow my sons and their girlfriends to stay together at our house if they’re in a relationship but I wouldn’t allow them to have any one-night stands.

But it’s your house and your rules, so you’re perfectly entitled to ask them to respect how you feel or to ship out. And maybe it is time they moved out and into their own space where they can do what they want.

I guess in their minds they’re not teenagers any more and have regular girlfriends, so are finding this a hard rule to live by.

If that’s the case, and you’re not willing to compromise, then I’d suggest they start saving and planning to move out unless they’re happy to fall in with your house rules.