Kezia Dug in but efforts were in vain
KEZIA Dugdale’s time in I’m A Celebrity came to a very quick end. She was the second person voted off, which surprised many. We’re more used to her being third.
Kez said she found being surrounded by slimy creatures and snakes a harrowing experience – and was glad to get away from parliament for a couple of weeks.
After his eviction, Stanley Johnson asked the immortal question, “Is Boris still Foreign Secretary?” To which a weeping nation replied, “Sadly yes”.
Sticking with reality telly, the next series of Celebrity Big Brother is to launch with just female housemates in a salute to 100 years of women’s suffrage. Yes, because nothing says equality more than imprisoning women in a house for three weeks with no contact to the outside world.
Producers argue that they want to recreate the feeling of helplessness and universal suffering. It’s something they can make easily possible – by forcing us to watch Channel 5.
Meanwhile, Quentin Tarantino says he wants to direct the new Star Trek film. Producers are worried he’s going to stick to his formula of adult themes and extreme violence. Might be something to do with his suggested title for the film – Kill Bill Shatner.
Wee shame for Paisley missing out on UK City of Culture for 2021. I wouldn’t worry though. The way Trump’s going, I doubt any of us will see 2021. Coventry won but that’s not necessarily the final decision, as we don’t know if Arlene Foster has approved it yet.
There were still some celebrations on the streets of Paisley. Well, at least the prize didnae go to Greenock.