Brexit hard border is a Bono of contention
OOFT, it’s been a week of deal or no deal, where the PM nearly ended up in a box. Aye, it was revealed a plot to assassinate Theresa May was foiled. After the method was found to be a bomb rather than a stabbing in the back, Michael Gove was released without charge. In fairness, the PM has been a bit of a target lately. Yes, phase one of Brexit has finally been sorted. Presumably that’s the bit where they find out who gets custody of Frankie Dettori. Big Theresa has been out of the country negotiating. MPs had hoped to get further explanation from Britain’s leader but unfortunately Arlene Foster wasn’t available. Bookies such as Ladbrokes were predicting an early deal on the EU. But in the end it was all down to Paddy Power. The Irish prime minister Leo Varadkar doesn’t want a hard border with Northern Ireland. Unless they agree to take Bono and Louis Walsh, in which case he’ll happily build the wall himself. Talking of building walls, Donald Trump is a man who loves a deal. The US president says he will now recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Previously, he thought the capital of Israel was I. Saudi Arabia have condemned the move. Surely a bad sign when you get a moral lecture from a country that didn’t allow women to drive cars until cars had learned to drive themselves. Luckily, Trump can still rely on his old pals Russia for support. Vladimir Putin has announced he will seek another term as president in next year’s Russian election. So, let me be the first to congratulate Vladimir on his landslide victory in next year’s Russian election. Despite this, state-sponsored doping means they’ve been banned from the next Winter Olympics. Although they can still be involved in the US presidential elections. Russia deny they covered up the claims. It turned out they were taking the p**s. That’s something they have in common with our train operators. Train fares going up again sounds like a right bad deal. Honestly, I can’t keep track – much like the train companies.
ScotRail said 85 per cent of their annual revenue comes from regulated fares.
While the other 15 per cent comes from selling a caramel wafer off the trolley.
Which brings us to a wee guy with a right cushy deal, Prince George. He played a sheep in his school nativity play. Apparently wee George was gutted not to be King. A fact he has in common with his granda.