HARD TO ACCEPT DAD’S GIRLFRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’M A 16-year-old girl and my mum died two years ago. I’m doing OK and have lots of supportive friends but I’m kind of at odds with my dad over his new relationship.

He’s been seeing a woman for five months and they’re obviously quite serious about one another.

They don’t live together but they may as well do because they see each other all the time.

He seems happy again but it’s like he’s forgotten about my mum and our life as a family.

It still feels as if it hasn’t been that long since she died and I’m really struggling to feel OK about a new woman being in our lives.

What do you think?

Coleen says

IT’S not easy to accept this, especially when you’re only 16, but your dad’s new relationship doesn’t take away from fact that he totally and utterly loved your mum and, if she were still here, they’d still be together.

This woman hasn’t split them up or made your dad think any less of your mum. In fact, I’m sure he still misses your mum every day. But life moves on and if you can find it in your heart to be OK with him finding happiness again, then I actually think it’ll be easier for you.

You have to remember how broken hearted and bereft he was when your mum died, so to see him happy now is a good thing.

I bet your mum would want him to be happy. No one can replace her and I’m sure your dad’s girlfriend has absolutely no intention of ever trying to do that. However, she could end up being a friend if she sticks around.

But don’t let it build a wedge between you and your dad – talk to him about it and tell him how you’re feeling.