TIdE oF ABUSE
to perpetrators needs to be strong to get through their defences, because there tends to be denial or a lack of acceptance around the severity and impact of their behaviour.
“But we also want to reach and help people who may not recognise that they are experiencing domestic abuse.
“It uses the kind of language and controlling behaviour we hear being reported back to us from victims. We want to call out domestic abuse in all its various guises for what it is, so that those victims who have perhaps not come forward to report it yet are able to see that they are suffering and they can get help.”
The advert centres on language often used by abusers to coerce victims.
A new Domestic Abuse Bill aimed at strengthening and expanding the law was backed unanimously by MSPs earlier this year. It will make psychological abuse and coercive control a criminal offence.
The ad focuses in on a woman’s face and throws some of the language typically used by abusers back at them, such as: “You know it’s your own fault, don’t you” and “You brought this on yourself.”
As the camera pulls out, viewers see the woman is a police officer. She repeats another typical threat: “You are going to get what’s coming to you.”
Rory Macrae, national co-ordinator of the Caledonian System, a court-ordered programme for men aimed at changing their behaviour, supports the campaign.
He said the festive period is a time when abusers will blame partners for not fulfilling the fantasy of a “perfect” family Christmas.
Macrae explained: “Domestic abuse is basically about perpetrators’ unreasonable expectations of their partners or themselves and how things should be – and that is amplified at Christmas.
“They wrongly expect their partners to make everything perfect; their kids to be carefree and never get fractious. These expectations are unreasonable and they become abusive when they are not met.
“We have to get men to change their beliefs. I absolutely support a robust policing response and this campaign – but it is not the only part of the message that is going to get men to change.”
Scots BMX superstar John Buultjens has written a book, Ride, about his experiences of living with a violent father.
John, 45, who grew up in Glasgow’s Drumchapel, said his earliest memory of his father is being thrown into an electric fire at the age of three.
His mother was often beaten at Christmas.
Just before Christmas 1979, seven-yearold John tried to stop his father beating up his mum, picking up a kitchen knife and threatening to stab him.
John was taken into care and went on to have a happy and successful life with an adopted family.
He later discovered it was his own mother who alerted police and social services to the abuse and he is urging any victims to seek help.
He said: “My happy Christmases were with my adoptive parents and away from my violent father.
“You can’t change the Christmases of the past but you can change this Christmas and the ones in the future. There is help out there.
“There is a point when you can say, ‘This finishes here’, and go on to get the chance for a better life for you and your children.” ● If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, or have witnessed it, and are worried about your safety or the safety of a child, you can report it by calling the police on 101, or 999 if it is an emergency.
You can also seek support from Scottish Women’s Aid on 0131 226 6606. previously told Okwara she did not want to have sex.
Jurors heard his second victim “froze” as he raped her in 2009 after telling her: “Your mouth says no, but your body says yes.”
Okwara, who molested his third victim in 2012, was finally snared during a probe into the attacks years later.
Earlier this month, his second victim told the Record about her ordeal – and her eight-year wait for justice.
She said yesterday: ”I think this is justice, but the sentence could have been longer.
“The main thing for me is that he cannot attack anyone else while in jail, and he may be deported on release.
“Even to the end he was arrogant and showed no remorse. That is exactly him.
“I know some victims never see any kind of justice, so I am relieved.”