Tories get over-excited with Brex-rated content
THERE ye go. Damian Green has resigned as First Secretary of State – to spend more time with his computer. Aye, it turns out Mr Green got done by a bit of blue.
Big Damo went after admitting he lied about whether police told him porn was found on his House of Commons PC. Theresa May described the whole affair as a “Sorry Mess in the Cabinet”. Which I think may well have been the name of the film Green had allegedly been caught watching.
Stand back though. May says we’re now entering the exciting bit of Brexit. A series of words that appear together as commonly as “Scotland” and “World Cup Qualification”.
In fairness it’s only May who says it’s exciting. And remember this is the wummin who thinks running through a field of wheat is a pure mental buzz by the way.
That said, Jeremy Corbyn reckons he could be Prime Minister this time next year. Theresa’s raging, asking: “Who does he think he is, Boris Johnson?”
Corbyn says he won’t let the hero worship at events like Glastonbury go to his head. And to prove that he’s written a song about it on his new album.
You’ve got to give Corbyn credit. He’s got a white beard and makes delivery promises in December. He could give all this up to drive a sleigh full of reindeer.
His pal Diane Abbott backs Jezza, saying she wishes the UK had never triggered Article 501.
Yet in all of this, what is Michael Gove banging on about? Cheese. Apparently the price of cheddar is to rise by 40 per cent.
Although unless that figure’s written on the side of a bus, he’s not sure whether to believe it or not. Gove says we should be more patriotic about cheese and has even written his own slogan – Make Britain Grate Again. Which leads nicely on to his pal Donald Trump, who has brought in a tax cut that will help rich folk but it will affect protected environmental territories. So Trump might be better off but it will probably kill whatever that creature is on his head.
Critics say it could spell the end of Western civilisation. Which delighted Kim Jong-un because that’ll save him a job. Anyway, no bah humbug from me so I’ll finish with a wee cracker joke that sums up the year. What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year. Merry Christmas!