A year of elections is making us all cross
THE year’s biggest film is, of course, Star Wars.
A special edition set of stamps is being released to mark the latest release.
Only one drawback, though. When you stick them on packages, you have to say May The Parcelforce Be With You. SO we’re at the bitter end of 2017. Time to look back at what the old year had to offer.
One thing we discovered is we pure love voting. Can’t get enough of it.
Seriously, I’ve seen the inside of my old primary school more now than when I was a wean.
Aye, we had the general election in June.
It kicked off with a bizarre TV debate. With no Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn, the other leaders took over. It was the political equivalent of the young team having an empty.
What a mixed bag in that line-up. I tuned in halfway through and thought it was the Steps comeback tour.
In fairness, it was ITV, with a bunch of random folk standing at podiums looking awkward trying to answer questions.
If I wanted that gash, I just had to watch mad Rylan Clark-Neal hosting Babushka.
On the campaign trail, May tried to order a chippy.
She was stoating about with a poke of chips looking like a mad steamer at T in the Park hunting for the Slam tent.
Then she went walkabout. Nae wonder folk were scared to answer the door to her. She was cutting about like the grim reaper doing the Daz Doorstep Challenge.
However, when it comes to trash talk, Corbyn knows the score.
Big Jezza’s car ran over a cameraman’s foot. Lucky Ruth Davidson wasn’t giving him a lift. Those big tanks leave one helluva mark on your tootsies.
The end result was a crazy coalition. Corbyn called it Shabby and Reckless.
All a misunderstanding though. It turns out Shabby and Reckless is the name of the hip hop act he was supporting at Glastonbury.
A billion pounds extra to Northern Ireland though? Come on, they’re really taking the p**s with these NI contributions.
May’s leadership is still being called into question following her shocking COMEDY moment of the year was Gemma Collins, right, falling through a trap door at Radio 1’s Teen Awards.
The audience were concerned but Gemma’s agent insisted there was nothing to worry about – it was just a stage she was going through. general election performance.
Personally, I think she showed amazing diversity. Let’s face it, it’s not easy to be robotic and wooden at the same time.
Mind you, big Theresa didn’t help herself at the Tory Party Conference, which turned into an episode of Mr Bean.
The standout moment was that bit where the mad comedian jumped up on stage. But enough about Boris Johnson.
Then the sign behind May’s head dropped an “E”. Watching it, I wish I had.
Which perfectly sums up 2017 really. The agony and the ecstasy. ● Celebrity baby of the year? Cheryl and Liam Payne’s wee boy, Bear. Presumably with the middle names “Faced Cheek”. Bear is now well in with the rest of the Payne family – Inalotta, Period and Window.