GRIM REALITY TV

DAY ONE DAY TWO DAY THREE DAY FOUR DAY FIVE DAY SIX DAY SEVEN BOXING DAY.

I HADN’T shaved for three weeks to look as rough as possible. I got dropped off in town with just the clothes I was wearing, my rucksack, sleeping bag and camera – no money or phone. I went into a bookies for a cup and to ask the time. I had my Santa hat and beard, but no watch.

I’d had porridge but nothing else and was nervous and panicky. I didn’t know what to do before I sat down. I needed money and 618 people walked by before I received my first 50p.

Other homeless people told me where to sleep that night and I went to a shelter at the Barras where they had 30 or 40 beds. One guy in the queue wanted to give me half his money (he had £18) to help me. I didn’t want to deprive someone so went to sleep at the chapel doorway in Garnethill because it was quieter than the city centre. I made £5-6 in six hours and got a bag of chips at 4pm. I got a roll and cups of tea too. Anything to keep warm. My energy levels were still pretty high and didn’t dip till later on in the week.

It felt surreal going to sleep on the street and I was questioning why I was doing it. I DIDN’T sleep well because I thought someone was standing over me and was nervous at every noise – even the pigeons, seagulls and taxis. It was scary.

I went into the bookies again and questioned why I kept doing that. I used to be a compulsive gambler so it was dangerous but it was the only place open at 8am. It was as if I was tempting fate but I had no money.

I was hungry but went into Boots for a spray of aftershave and was followed by a security guard. I wanted to freshen up. I went to Mitchell Library toilets for a wash and sat in there and got a heat. Later in Queen Street when I was begging, a girl from the offices spoke to me and asked where I was staying and bought me water and Maltesers.

I got emotional seeing the sadness in her eyes. I SAT in Buchanan Street and it was a lot busier because everyone was on a mission for Christmas shopping.

I got £5 from someone to get drinks and then I went to the soup kitchen at Blythswood, where over 300 people showed up. Some had jobs but couldn’t afford their bills and house rent.

I washed in McDonalds and we were given Christmas presents at the soup kitchen of toothpaste, deodorant, gloves and hats. I became friends with Cas and Michelle and I slept with them in Buchanan Street at the Galleries. I was feeling dirty. I had to do the toilet into a bag up a lane at three or four in the morning because there was nowhere else. BLACK Friday: I was in Queen Street and people were offering me drink and drugs – Valium, heroin, coke – every 20 minutes. They weren’t homeless and it was sad they preyed on the vulnerable.

I kept my head down and didn’t want eye contact with anyone. I began to feel ashamed and was thinking of myself as homeless. Some people shouted at me: “Get a job.” I ate in another soup kitchen and went to the Clydeside for vegetarian Christmas dinner.

People told me horror stories and I spoke to a woman saying she was raped and stabbed down a lane and people started setting her on fire.

I was going to sleep on Sauchiehall Street but the police told me I’d be better away from there because it might get violent. Homeless people are 30 per cent more likely to receive abuse or violence. I went to Buchanan Galleries again but missed the main action. Cas, who is transgender, got attacked by four youths that night. PEOPLE were in high spirits in town and I was a bit crabbit because I hadn’t slept much. I was trying to get some extra kip sleeping in a bus stop. By this point, my day consisted of survival – where to eat and where to sleep. I killed a few hours hearing stories from an old man called Peter who was 25 years homeless and slept under the bridge.

I did some amount of walking to kill hours because the library and other places were closed for Christmas. I was in the bookies again to keep warm. I was at Christmas dinner in a church at the top of George Square and met a beautiful couple, Ricky and Julia, who had been on heroin and got married and offered 12-week programmes to help people succeed. I felt safe there. They are unfunded so do it off their own bat and are so loving and caring. The current system is not working and getting worse. I FELT very low and I drank a lot of tea to keep warm. I only managed to get a few quid begging and couldn’t be bothered doing it. I was thinking about my family and what they were doing. I was really tired and was a bit delusional about why I was there. I had to make sure I had my camera to remind me I was making a documentary. I was in George Square later and got stopped by two police officers because I looked dodgy with my Santa beard and bag. I had a joke with them but walked about in a daze. CHRISTMAS Day, I woke up at the bus stop and was thinking constantly about my family. It was my loneliest day and I knew I was going home. My trousers and trainers were manky, my hair was bogging and everywhere I went security followed me around. The shelters were open for dinner and three hundred people were fed. They were telling jokes and in good high spirits, singing Christmas songs and hymns. It started snowing on Christmas night and it was the coldest day. I ended up sleeping under the Kingston Bridge and was shattered. MY FAMILY thought I was going on a health and fitness retreat where no phones were allowed and I couldn’t wait to see them. My head was a mess. I was happy but sad. The people I met became friends and I’m still down every day speaking to them. We need to educate to change people’s lives. When I told the people I met I wasn’t homeless, they were crying with joy. They were happy for me. The £82 I received through the week will be given back to them and I intend to help them more too.