WANT EX, BUT CAN’T HURT HUBBY

Dear Coleen

I AM married but I honestly don’t know if I still love my husband – and I’ve had this feeling for years.

I recently reconnected with my ex-boyfriend. We never really split, but he had to go back to his country to take care of his dad who eventually passed away.

We lost contact, and during that time I met my husband.

Now my ex has got in touch with me again after years of trying to locate me and I still love him. He never got married but has kids with a woman back home. My husband and I don’t have any children.

What should I do? I still love my ex, but I don’t want to hurt my husband. I have been living a lie for so long and now feel that since my ex and I have found each other again that I don’t have to continue living a lie.

Coleen says

IF you decide the marriage is over, then your husband will be hurt – it’s unavoidable, I’m afraid. But staying with him and living a lie will also hurt him. I’d be devastated to find out a partner didn’t love me and was only with me for convenience or some other reason.

If you don’t love him, your marriage will fall apart at some point because you can’t live a lie for ever.

The whole thing with your ex sounds very romantic, but you need to take him out of the picture and decide on your marriage first.

If you’re not in love you’re your husband, then you shouldn’t be with him whether this ex is on the scene or not.

You shouldn’t be clinging on to your husband because there’s nothing definite on offer – that’s just using him and it’s very unfair. Yes, he’ll be brokenhearted but he will get over it and he’ll have a chance to meet someone else who can give him 100 per cent.