Let’s have big hand for Trump..OK, maybe not
TV HOST Alexander Armstrong claims the Queen has become a big fan of his show Pointless.
Be fair. She only tuned in because the title made her think it was a documentary about Prince Andrew. SO IT’S one year since Donald Trump became US president.
Piers Morgan has secured the first international TV interview with Trump, filmed in Davos and due to be screened in full tomorrow.
And to confirm, there will be subtitles. Just in case you can’t hear what Piers is saying because his tongue’s wedged that far up Donald’s backside.
Trump also met Theresa May at the World Economic Forum.
Reports say she asked him about trade deals, NATO and mutual co-operation. He asked her: “Who are you again?”
In fairness, Donald did say that May reminds him of a modern-day Winston Churchill. Mainly in the sense that he’d like to fight her on a beach and that she’ll probably lead her country during a world war.
The president also claims he is looking forward to being interviewed over alleged Russian meddling in the US election. Which must mean Vladimir Putin’s sent Trump the list of answers he wants him to give.
Talking of which, the head of the British Army warns that Putin is a “clear and present danger” when it comes to the risk of cyber attack.
It’s not all bad though. I hear he has the capability to hack the Maybot’s software and switch her aff.
It’s also emerged that the Kremlin tried to ban the movie Paddington 2.
Apparently the Russians can’t understand any film about a bear if it isn’t either forced to dance in a circus or be killed for its fur.
Some folk say the world has gone to pot since Trump got elected.
It is true that weirder stuff keeps happening. Like the KFC-loving couple who held their wedding reception at their favourite fast food chain and 40 guests tucked into bargain buckets. It worked because marriage is much like a KFC. Nice on its own but more enjoyable if you can have something extra on the side.
Then there’s the shop worker in SIR Elton John has announced his last ever world tour. Truth is, he’s only doing these final gigs for one reason. He’s now officially old enough to get free unlimited travel on the tour bus. Liverpool who fought off a robber after realising his weapon was actually a bottle of fabric conditioner.
Apparently the guy was easy to skelp as he was much softer than a traditional robber. Don’t worry though. Soon after, he was apprehended by the long arm of Lenor.
But back to Trump. Chart-topping singer Adele joined thousands of women at a Los Angeles march on the anniversary of his inauguration.
The compere asked passers-by to give her a big hand. Which hurt the president. Well, with his toaty wee fingers, that’s something Trump can only dream about. ● The six acts hoping to represent the UK at Eurovision have been unveiled.
There were plans for them to remain unknown for a little bit.
But there will be plenty of time for that after Eurovision’s over.