Black dog of depression is back.. but there’s help out there
Holby star Chizzy Akudolu opens her heart about mental illness and why she wants Strictly stint to be springboard to fitness
CHIZZY Akudolu always puts on a brave face but the former Holby City star – whose bubbly, positive personality won over the public on Strictly last year – is battling with depression.
The actress revealed her struggle with the condition last summer, just after she quit her role as heart surgeon Mo Effanga on medical drama Holby City.
She first suffered from it in 2014 and admits that its return can leave her feeling powerless.
Chizzy said: “The ‘black dog’ of depression has come back. It’s come out of the blue, there’s no apparent reason for it. I guess it is what it is, it comes to stay and there’s nothing I can do about it until it leaves.”
The first time the illness struck, she used her TV role of jokey, bubbly Mo as a “mask” to conceal what she was going through for more than a year.
This time, she’s tweeted the news to her 40,000 followers that she’s suffering it again.
She said: “I understand people might be shocked because I’m naturally a very happy person, just as I appear.
“I don’t put that on … but every now and then I have this thing – depression – which makes me less happy.
“By being open about it, I hope I help people realise that they’re not alone in going through this. My depression first came on in the middle of Holby, when I was at my happiest, so
it doesn’t always relate to what’s going in your life. I worked throughout but it was tough.
“This time, I’d had a lovely day before my depression came back, meeting up with my old co-star Ben Hull [obstetrician Mr T] and reminiscing about old times.
“Then bang – I woke up the next day and it was there. But there is help out there and I’m having therapy.”
It’s all part of the effort the 44-year-old is putting in this year to work on herself and her fitness – partly triggered by Strictly.
Chizzy, who danced with Pasha Kovalev, won plaudits for her honesty when she had to adjust her hair weave during an energetic foxtrot and proclaimed: “Sorry to all the black women watching”.
But she was voted off in the first round. It dashed her dream of losing weight on the show and “transforming her body”.
Chizzy said: “I’m sad that I couldn’t go further. It was a massive confidence boost that they chose me and it felt like, ‘Ooh, I’m playing with the big boys now’.
“I was having an amazing time and hoped to lose loads of weight but I was unlucky – I injured my knee before the first live show and ended up on crutches.
“I had to have my knee strapped while I danced. That didn’t help.
“I made a resolution while on the show to work on my fitness.
“Feeling out of breath when I danced made me realise how much I need to change, otherwise, the older I get, the harder it will become. I used to do karate and work out but I’ve let it all slip.”
She feels empathy for others trying to lose weight.
Chizzy added: “I lost half a stone on Strictly but I’ve put it back on. It’s such a vicious circle when you’re overweight because it’s so hard to lose it. You just think, ‘What’s the point?’ and end up eating the wrong stuff – for me, it’s takeaways and crisps. “Then you feel bad for letting yourself down, which hits your self esteem and you eat more to cheer yourself up. I don’t want to get slim, I’d just like a powerful body, like Serena Williams.”
Chizzy believes the insecure life of an actor can play a part in triggering stress and undermining her dieting efforts.
And she had ruled out a permanent return to Holby City.
She said: “I miss it and, every now and again, think I’d like to go back for one or two episodes – but going back full-time isn’t right for me now.”
Prior to joining Holby City in May 2012, Chizzy starred on screen and stage, with appearances in EastEnders, The Inbetweeners, Green Wing and a semi-regular role on Channel 4’s Campus.
Recently, it was revealed she was married to Henry Anang, a computer engineer who alleged she’d put her career before their marriage, leading to their break up in 2000. She said: “I don’t want to give him any more air time.
“I don’t think my career has stopped me from being with somebody – I just haven’t met the right person.
“I’d like to adopt a child at some point. I’ve got projects I’m looking forward to and the future will be exciting.”
● Chizzy is a supporter of St Mungo’s, a charity working to end homelessness and rebuild lives. For more on their work, visit mungos.org.
I don’t want to get slim, I’d just like a powerful body like Serena Willams