Guide to surviving break-ups
THEY say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all – but it can be devastating to go through a break-up, especially when it’s you who has been dumped.
You might be tempted to beg for reconciliation over texts or stalk your ex on social media.
But now there’s an app to guide you through your break-up in a healthy and efficient way.
Mend is dubbed the “personal trainer for heartbreak”.
Part therapist, part online community, the app coaches you through topics such as detoxing from your ex, upping your self-care and even tracking your exercise and sleep habits.
Mend is the brainchild of former Google employee Ellen Heurta, who built the algorithm using a mixture of science-based knowledge and mindfulness techniques.
She was inspired to design the app by her own break-up.
Ellen said: “I created Mend because it’s what I needed when I was going through a break-up in my mid-20s.
“All of the resources I found online felt cheesy and outdated and none of them addressed the science of what’s actually happening in your brain and body during a break-up.”
On Mend, you key in the details of your relationship’s demise and the time you last contacted your ex. You’re then asked to “check in” with your emotions, sharing how sad you feel each day on a sliding scale.
A soothing avatar called Elle offers advice on moving forward.
Have you been scrolling 53 weeks deep on your ex’s Instagram account? “This is totally normal,” Elle reassures. “This feeling will pass.”
As well as suggestions for break-up reading material, such as “five ways to foster a better sense of self”, the app prompts you to log healing activities like exercising, being social or getting intimate with a new person.
You get a motivational time stamp of the days since you last contacted your ex and a chart showing how your mood has progressed.
There’s also a Mend community of fellow dumpees where you can read posts about relationships and tips for moving on.