Having IVF was traumatic and my chances of success were only 1% but it was worth it
TV host went through hell of miscarriages and had to quit her job to relieve stress in bid to get pregnant again.. but now she wouldn’t change her brood for the world
COUNTRYFILE presenter Julia Bradbury knew she had to quit work to get pregnant when she found herself dashing to the toilet to inject hormones into her stomach during filming.
Three years earlier, she had given birth naturally to her “miracle” child Zephyr, despite suffering from endometriosis, which can make conception more difficult.
But it would take several gruelling rounds of IVF and heartbreaking miscarriages before Julia got pregnant at the age of 44 with twin girls Zena and Xanthe.
The twins are now nearly three, and while Julia is enjoying being a parent in her 40s, she’s keen to warn other would-be mums never to take it for granted that IVF will work.
She said: “If you’re a woman over 30, your fertility drops off a cliff and if you’re over 40, forget it.
“A friend of mine said that her boyfriend told her he wants to marry her but he doesn’t want to have kids yet, so can they just wait 10 years and have IVF.
“But IVF doesn’t just work. I think my chances of success were one per cent – it’s certainly not foolproof.”
Julia, 47, knows she was one of the lucky ones.
Even so, she had to abandon her beloved Countryfile, which she presented for six years with Matt Baker and John Craven, to be fully dedicated to the fertility procedure.
She added: “I just got to the point where I knew if I really wanted to focus on the IVF and for it to be successful at my stage in life and my age, I couldn’t do the juggling any more.
“I thought that was contributing to the stress of the IVF not working. I said for the first time, ‘I am going to step back and say no to something from a career point of view’.”
Julia said that for a long time, IVF took over her life.
She added: “A lot of the hormones are taken via injection, so you or your partner have to stab yourself in the belly or bum once or twice a day for a week or more. It’s so traumatic, I’ve just blanked it all out.
“I look back now and I was hell. I mean, the hormones – I must have been a witch.
“You can become quite angry, very short-tempered, and I don’t think you’re rational all of the time.
“I am admitting it now. The partner is going through the emotional roller-coaster with you, but not the hormonal roller-coaster.”
Despite a demanding work schedule and four failed IVF attempts, Julia knew she wanted Zephyr to have a playmate.
She and her property developer partner Gerard Cunningham, 58, just didn’t expect two to come at once.
Julia said: “It was the over-riding thing of, ‘Please let him have a sibling’.
“My partner is Irish and has eight brothers and sisters.
“My mum is Greek and the mentality is quite clan-like, it’s big and noisy. The concept of brothers or sisters was quite important for both of us.”
Julia says she wouldn’t change her IVF trauma for the world.
In fact, she says having children in her 40s has given her a more mature outlook as a parent.
She added: “I was pretty lucky. I had a fantastic life. I travelled a lot for work, I accomplished lots of things and worked on some great shows.
“It would be really difficult to be a man or woman in your 20s thinking you hadn’t lived, and then becoming a parent and feeling frustrated and like you’re missing out.
“One of the advantages of being an older mum is you’re at a different stage in your life. You’ve got more life experience.
“Hopefully you’re a bit more secure about who you are and where you are in your life, as well.
“So you are a bit more pragmatic. Being a parent is all-encompassing
– it’s where you can go on holiday, whether you can go out on Friday night, whether you can go to the pub. It’s everything.
“That being said, I am happier than ever now, not to be going out to parties on a Friday night and being able to say, ‘I can’t, I haven’t got a babysitter’.”
Julia appreciates that thousands of desperate families across the UK are struggling on NHS waiting lists as the wait for IVF.
The presenter said: “I did it all privately. I wouldn’t put that stress on the NHS. I don’t think it would be fair. We wanted this and took the financial cost.
“It’s thousands and thousands of pounds every time you try.”
Not being hard-up had other benefits for the mum.
Julia revealed that being able to afford a live-in nanny has helped her youngsters develop good behaviour.
Her twins are almost fully potty trained and are already sleeping right through the night.
Julia said: “People ask you all the time, ‘What’s the trick? What’s the parenting tool?’ Routine, routine, routine. I’ve been very lucky. Because I am a working mum, I have a nanny. For us, she’s a godsend.
“She’s a professional childminder and they know their stuff, because they haven’t just looked after your kid, they’ve looked after maybe 10.”
Julia says the most important thing is getting children into the routine of sleep from as early an age as possible.
Though the star admits it can be about being a “cruel parent” and letting your child cry through the night – no matter how heartbreaking that can be to hear. She said: “We literally close the door and they go to sleep.
“If they cry, and they’re not wet and they’re fed, we don’t go back in. They started their routine early.
“The longer you leave it, the harder it becomes.
“It could be a week of hell, because we’re all tired, we’re working and we’re sleep-deprived, and you do it for a night and it doesn’t really work, and you do for two nights and it doesn’t really work. “You’ve just got to do it.” Although her brood can be a bit of a handful, it was a dream come true for Julia to be able to welcome not one baby sister for Zephyr, but two.
She added: “Twins are a very special thing.
“Their connection and the way they communicate with one another is fascinating and so special to be around and to watch all of the time.
“Every day you are watching your baby develop into a child, develop into a toddler, every change that they go through is just so interesting and takes your breath away.
“Imagine watching two at the same time who are sort of developing at the same time – it’s just mind-blowing.”
If you are a woman over 30, your fertility drops off a cliff and if you’re over 40, forget it JULIA BRADBURY