Apostrophe catastrophe spoils the magic

ACTRESS Emma Watson was left feeling a bit sheepish after she turned up to the Oscars with a temporary tattoo containing a massive grammatical error.

The tattooist has since released a statement saying he’s “dooply siri”.

Come on, though, she’s the lassie fae Harry Potter – getting spells right should be a skoosh.

At the Razzies, The Emoji Movie picked up four Golden Raspberries.

I felt sorry for the director. He was forced to put on a big smiley face the whole time. Then a crying one with two tears rolling down his face.

Elsewhere at the Oscars, a man has been accused of stealing Frances McDormand’s Best Actress prize.

When word got out a strange looking gold man had gone missing, the police sprung into action… and immediately launched a nationwide search for Dale Winton.

The man accused of stealing the Oscar has since given a statement to police. He thanked his mum, his agent and the security guard for leaving the door open long enough for him to get it.

Best Movie star Michael Shannon didn’t go the ceremony. Instead he watched the whole thing at the pub. Which was all going well until the pub owner insisted the TV was switched over to Sportscene.

Shannon appeared in The Shape of Water, a film about a woman who falls in love with a creature from the blue lagoon.

Which coincidentally sounds like an average night oot at a Scottish chippy.