Your house ..your rules
Older kids staying at home or moving back from university can create tensions, so it’s vital to make clear where you all stand
“BOOMERANG kids”, who return to live with mum and dad after university, could be putting a strain on families.
There can be benefits to children staying with their parents but there are plenty of pitfalls too.
Parenting charity Family Lives said: “Living at home might sound like a great idea at first, particularly for parents who are still trying to adjust to the empty nest. But this situation can put additional financial and emotional pressure on families.
“It can also delay children becoming independent and taking real responsibility for their adult lives.”
Here are common dilemmas these families face – and some suggestions that could help to restore harmony.
IS LIVING AT HOME TOO EASY?
While some children return to their parents’ home because they have huge student debts and can’t afford their own place, research suggests many choose to live with their mum and dad simply because they like it.
A Thinkmoney study found one in six adults aged 18 to 34 who lived in the family home did so because it gave them an easier life, with their parents still doing their washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning.
Family Lives say it’s reasonable to expect grown-up kids to pull their weight and parents shouldn’t feel obliged to do their chores.
SHOULD PARENTS ASK FOR RENT?
Almost half of the young adults questioned by Thinkmoney paid no rent, even though the majority of them worked.
Family Lives say some parents feel guilty about asking for rent. But Comparethemarket.com found 74 per cent of parents feel there just isn’t enough information about how much to charge adult children for living at home.
The poll found 53 per cent of parents ask for money, requesting an average of £68 a month towards their mortgage or rent, £31 for bills and £33 for food.
But 19 per cent were too embarrassed to ask kids to cough up anything – and 12 per cent of children refused to contribute towards household bills.
Comparethemarket have created a tool that calculates how much parents could be charging, based on factors including local rent, food, gas and electricity prices.
IS IT CAUSING ARGUMENTS?
As well as financial complications, having grown-up offspring living in the family home can cause tension between family members.
Rows can start when boomerang kids expect things to be as they were before they went away to college or university.
Parenting expert Sue Atkins said: “As well as potentially causing problems between parents and their grown-up kids, it can also cause rows between the parents themselves. Everyone needs to sit down and have a good chat about acceptable ground rules, without getting moody or shouting.”