It’ s OK to not always love being a parent
TV presenter Anna Williamson has opened up about her battle with post-natal anxiety to help other new mums
THE stresses of being a new parent can leave you feeling broken at times.
But TV presenter and life coach Anna Williamson, who knows the difficulties of being a new mum first-hand, has come up with a guide to help struggling couples.
After the traumatic birth of her son Enzo, who is now 17 months old, she was diagnosed with post-natal anxiety.
More than one in 10 new parents experiences post-natal depression and anxiety and Anna, 36, says it’s important to recognise that it’s natural to have stresses when you have a baby.
She said: “It’s a wonderful thing being a parent but it’s completely OK to not enjoy it all the time.
“You can feel a little bit broken in so many ways.
“Being a new mum, I did feel physically broken.
“Emotionally and mentally everything was going haywire. I did feel a little bit broken in the head, because I wasn’t sure what I was feeling and was overwhelmed by all these feelings.”
It was also difficult for her husband Alex, a personal trainer and property management student, to deal with the changes and see her in pain.
But Anna has no regrets about being a mum.
She said: “I would never change it. But it’s really important to be honest and say Hollywood-style parenting rarely happens for any of us – so don’t feel you are in any way a failure as a parent. The key point of the book is that being a new parent is brilliant but there’s so much to learn.
“You are not alone, you’re amongst like-minded people, and everybody experiences something different with parenting. We’re all in this together and you’re smashing it as a parent, even if you don’t think so all the time.”
Here are Anna’s top tips on coping with being a new mum:
DON’T COMPARE
Try not to compare yourself to other new parents. Anna said: “Don’t measure yourself against anyone else.
“Just because the woman down the road might be doing buggy fit, that might not suit you. Every birth is unique, as is the impact that will have on you mentally and physically, so go at your own pace.”
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
You’ve been through a lot, so look after yourself.
Anna said: “You’ve just created, and now you’re in charge of, a human being. So don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way and to have to be perfectly groomed all the time.
“Settle in at your own pace.” ASK FOR HELP You don’t have to do everything yourself.
Anna said: “Don’t feel you have to be superwoman. Ask for help, whether that’s from a family friend or an in-law, to do something like take the other children out of the house.
“You don’t have to be perfect and know it all and do it all straight away yourself.” SHARE THE LOAD Look at how you can share the load if you have a partner.
Anna said: “If you have a partner, decide if it’s possible to do feeding and nappychanging shifts so you can try to get some sleep.
“Everything seems much easier to handle when you’ve had sleep.
“Experiment with expressing milk if breastfeeding.” GET SOMEONE TO WATCH THE BABY Ask someone to watch the baby for a short time so you can take some time for yourself. Anna said: “As soon as you can, ask a partner or someone else to watch the baby. Then take half an hour or an hour to yourself to kick back and relax. “Whether that’s having a hot bath, reading the daily newspaper or replying to text messages, every couple of days – or every day, if you can manage – ask for someone to watch the baby while you take time for you.” ● Breaking Mum and Dad: The Insider’s Guide to Parenting Anxiety by Anna Williamson is out now, published by Bloomsbury, £12.99.