Dear Coleen

FAMILY WON’T HELP WITH MY CANCER

I WAS diagnosed with stage four advanced prostate cancer in December 2016.

Since then my older brother and sister have not behaved in the way I would have thought. We were never close, but he has moved house and hasn’t been in touch.

My sister, who’s a nurse, also doesn’t want to know. She lives alone in a three-bedroom house and, recently, I asked if I could to move in but she declined. At the moment I live in an HMO and can only work parttime because of my health, so can’t afford my own place.

I’m still on good terms with my wife and our 17-year-old son but I feel lonely and depressed. I also suffer from PTSD after seeing a friend shot when I was in the RAF.

I’m 56 and feel that I can’t cope. feeling. Don’t try to be brave and strong all the time – it’s OK to say you feel lonely. All you need is one person you can confide in and be honest with. And it’s fine to express how you feel to the people caring for you, too – your doctors and nurses. Speak to them about counselling and extra support.

My sister Linda, who’s living with cancer, is surrounded by family and friends yet she still has terrible moments of loneliness because she’s the one going through it.

Maybe you can talk to your wife and son about setting aside one day or afternoon a week to see you.

You can also get in touch with Cancer Research UK – call their nurses confidentially on Freephone 0808 800 4040, 9am-5pm, Monday-Friday.

And you can get support from others affected by cancer on our online forum www.cancerchat.org.uk.