Pill sales on the rise for Viagra firm

VIAGRA has gone on general sale for five quid a pill. Seems a bit stiff.

Prices are expected to go up – and stay that way for between three and five hours.

In fairness, I tried to order it online but had trouble getting the website up.

To maximise profits, chemists have increased headache tablets to £5 a pill for all women over 60.

Experts hope it will put paid to sales of fake pills.

In fairness, they are easy to spot. It’s not hard. One man clearly not in need of Viagra was the late, great Stephen Hawking.

Countdown’s Rachel Riley revealed she once performed a private dance for the physics professor.

She was clear to point out it was all above board and he wasn’t allowed two from the top or one from the bottom.

Sticking with bawdy banter, Boris Johnson got slapped down in Parliament this week.

Being a public schoolboy, I’m betting he liked that.

John Bercow told Boris off for referring to Emily Thornberry by her husband’s title.

Bojo apologised for his “inadvertent sexism”.

Claiming it was an old habit he picked up working in Bongo Bongo Land.

Bercow was extremely surprised that Boris had used sexist language. As it’s the first time he’d ever understood a word he was saying.

Boris Johnson’s first wife, of course, never took his name. Just his house and half his earnings.