Dear Coleen
HAD MY IVF BABY BUT STRUGGLING
I’M A woman aged 41 and nearly three years ago I left a very good and highly-paid job to give myself the best chance of being a mum.
I had tried and failed to get pregnant naturally, so after leaving work behind I underwent IVF and, thankfully, it worked and my husband and I now have a beautiful son, who’s 18 months.
The thing is, I’m really struggling being at home on my own with the baby but how can I admit it to my husband (and everyone else) after trying to so hard for years to have a child and walking away from a job I loved?
I feel stressed, cut off and I’m desperate to be back in the working world.
I had to practically force my husband to go through fertility treatment (even though he’s now the best dad ever), so I’m not sure how sympathetic he’ll be. work?” I’m not sure this is about other people – I think it’s about you feeling guilty but there’s absolutely no need for it.
No one’s going to think you’re a bad parent for going back to work, so give yourself permission to do it if it’s what you really want.
I also think you’re selling your hubby a bit short – why wouldn’t he be supportive? Talk to him about it.
As long as you can both manage and afford childcare, and your son is being well looked after, I can’t see why he’d object.
I think you’re beating yourself up unnecessarily. Most new mums struggle initially to get the balance right between home, work and self-care – it’s normal – but you just have to try things out and see what works for you.
Good luck.