Dear Coleen

TOO NEEDY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

I’VE suffered from low selfesteem in the past and I still struggle with it a bit, if I’m honest. Previous relationships have ended badly and it’s affected my confidence.

Now I’m finding I’m relying on my current girlfriend way too much when it comes to companionship and social life.

I rarely go out with friends or do anything without her, although she has a better social life. It’s getting to the point now where I feel irritated if she wants to go out without me or even do stuff at home that doesn’t involve me.

I know it’s ridiculous and it’s not because I’m jealous or possessive, it’s because I’ve made her my world, which I know is unhealthy. Can you suggest anything? I’m worried she’ll get fed up and quit. relationship experiences on to your girlfriend.

You’re expecting her to let you down as previous girlfriends have, so you’re actually sabotaging things yourself by behaving how you are.

I think counselling could really help with your low self-esteem, but you have to be patient and stick with it – it’s not a quick fix.

Don’t get irritated with your girlfriend when she’s not giving you her attention 100 per cent or wants to go out with friends. Have an honest conversation about how you’re feeling and tell her you want to take steps to feel better about yourself and to give more to the relationship. She can help, too.

And make the effort to get out and do things on your own again – it will have a positive effect on you and your relationship.