Daily Record

Ryanair’s boss lands on his feet

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CONGRATULA­TIONS to Tiger Roll on winning the 2018 Grand National.

The horse is owned by Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary, so the victory was a big surprise.

As the horse actually completed its journey an hour’s bus ride from the winning post and had to declare its jockey as hand luggage. ● GUESTS at an Edinburgh fetish event were forced outside in the freezing cold when the fire alarm went off at their club night. Cold, wet, humiliated and in great discomfort – revellers were enjoying all of these sensations right before the alarm went off. ● CAR insurance prices have fallen for the first time in three years due to Government reforms to the law on whiplash compensati­on. You can no longer claim for whiplash.

Just the bruises on your forehead caused by banging your heid against a brick wall while trying to phone for a decent quote. ● TITANIC the Musical was abandoned after debris fell on to the stage during its opening night in Southampto­n.

I’m not saying the show was bad but when the iceberg appeared the crowd applauded.

 ??  ?? OWNER Michael O’Leary
OWNER Michael O’Leary

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