Coleen says

IT SOUNDS like your mum is projecting her feelings of abandonment on to you. She’s taking out all her anger on you, while your brother (simply by virtue of his sex) has escaped. She felt unwanted growing up and she’s raised you to feel unwanted, too.

Explain to her how she’s making you feel and why you don’t want to call her every day. If she tries to turn it into a row, walk away and tell her you’ll come back when she’s ready to talk. Try to take back some control.

She needs to take responsibility for her behaviour. She probably needs counselling to deal with these buried emotions from her childhood, so why not suggest it?

You should confront the problems you have with your mum. It might take a few sessions of talking things through but it’s a start. And if you can be more in control of when and how you see her (without her making you feel bad) I think that’ll help, too.

I READ with interest the letter from the woman whose partner insists on staying friendly with her best mate’s abusive ex-boyfriend (Dear Coleen, April 25).

I can empathise. My children still see and support their dad, even though he was abusive to me, which upsets me a great deal.

They explain it to me by saying what happened was between the two of us and he’s still their dad. Name and address

withheld