I’D LIKE MORE FROM MY NEW GYM FRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’M A gay man and have the condition dyspraxia.

I’ve been attending the same gym for about two years now. Recently, I’ve started going a bit more and I’ve met a guy there who has a few mobility problems, like myself.

Most days we arrive and leave a session at the same time and have started making small talk. The conversation has gradually built up over the past few weeks. We get along well and discovered we have lots of the same interests.

A couple of weeks ago, I gave this guy my phone number and we text each other about trivial stuff.

However, I’d like to take this friendship further, so I sent him a message saying, “Do you fancy meeting for a coffee/drink?” and I got a reply saying, “I don’t socialise/ drink”. He’s got cerebral palsy.

Should I just leave things as they are or try again?

Coleen says

RATHER than going out, you could suggest meeting for a coffee at your place or his, where he might feel more comfortable.

He’s obviously happy at the gym and it’s familiar territory, so if it has a coffee bar, then why not meet there after a session?

If he agrees and you become closer and he gains more confidence, then he might be willing to venture out to other places.

Of course, it might also be his way of letting you down gently.

If he turns you down again, then it’s safe to say he’s happy just being friends.