Duchess is Meghan her Markle
A COAT of arms has been created for Duchess Meghan Markle. It reflects her Hollywood background – so only costs half as much as the male version.
And as a coat designed for a royal, one thing’s for certain. It’s already sold out in Zara. ● RICHARD Branson says he’s training to be an astronaut and will take his first trip into space soon.
Seemingly the hardest thing he’s learning at the moment is the spacewalk, which he has to undertake between his Virgin spacecraft and its replacement bus service. ● KATIE Price has confirmed that her estranged husband Kieran Hayler has finally moved out of their home. The guy’s a builder. So unsurprisingly he stayed there much longer than people thought he would. ● LONDON is to introduce a contactless payment scheme for buskers. That’s nothing. There’s already a Scottish non-cash payment scheme for street performers. It’s called slipping jaikies a bottle of Buckfast. ● OFFICIAL figures show more than 22,000 children leave primary school dangerously obese. Though apparently that figure’s been rounded up. For reasons of irony. REAL Madrid star Gareth Bale has issued a stunning “come and get me” plea to other clubs after scoring twice to beat Liverpool in the Champions League final.
In response, Liverpool have issued a desperate “come and take him” plea for goalie Loris Karius.
Aw, poor Loris, I feel for the guy. Karius has even had death threats but the polis aren’t worried.
Let’s face it, he seems pretty decent at getting out of the way of things travelling towards him quickly, so a bullet will be nae sweat.
Aye, it’s been a week of celebrity troubles. TV channel ABC have cancelled comedian Roseanne Barr’s sitcom after she posted a racist tweet likening an African-American former Obama aide to an ape.
To be fair, she was going to quit the show anyway, as Donald Trump had already offered her a job as his speech writer.
Trump would have wrote to Roseanne sooner but was struggling to spell ABC.
Seriously, it’s the biggest controversy with Barr since they changed the recipe