Fab ideas for a night in with the girls
FIRST there was the furious denial: “I’m not middle-aged! People live until 120 nowadays – there’s no way I’m middle-aged in my 40s,” I told my friend who dared to suggest we’d hit a certain stage.
Then came other telling signs. There were endurance events like Tough Mudder, an arduous mountain climb, I even signed up for a marathon – twice – to prove that I was still strong and fit and full of youthful energy. That’s when my knees started to pack up. For men, a midlife crisis has always been such a straightforward, if cliched – affair – sports car, cycling, fear of hair loss.
It’s more complicated for women but there are still classic signs – a discreet tattoo at the nape of the neck or inside an ankle; inappropriate crushes; the compulsive “investment” buying of anti-ageing products?
Tick. Well not to the tattoo. Instead I opted for a midlife ear piercing, nipping out with a younger colleague at lunch intent on getting a fashionable little hoop at the top of my ear.
As I sat awaiting my turn on the bench in a Glasgow tattoo/piercing parlour, presumably they thought I was someone’s mum. A few weeks later, just as the novelty was wearing off and I was starting to feel a bit self-conscious, an infection forced me back to the parlour where a concerned and heavily tattooed young guy donned surgical gloves and swiftly removed the hoop from my throbbing ear.
A midlife crisis is not a biological inevitability, says Pamela Druckerman, the best-selling author, whose new book There Are No Grown Ups, examines her own midlife crisis. She lives in France and noticed how waiters suddenly began addressing her as Madame instead of Mademoiselle, signalling her change in status. But only 10-20 per cent of people actually have a midlife crisis, says Pamela, and everyone else just sits back and enjoys the spectacle. I’m scared to say I’m in my 40s because it feels, well, so old, yet I’m trying to b e comfortable in my own skin. This age brings physical and emotional changes and people do have transformations in midlife, says Pamela, as they acknowledge who they thought they were going to be with who they actually are. But it’s too late to start pretending to be something I’m not so I’ll try to take her advice. Instead of clinging to youth, just be the best version of the age you are.
For men, a midlife crisis is a cliched affair – sports car, cycling and fear of hair loss