Johnson doesn’t lie in front of bulldozers.. only big buses
MPs have backed controversial plans to build a third runway at Heathrow airport.
Boris Johnson was given pelters for missing the vote on it.
At the first sign of trouble he ran and hid in Afghanistan, earning him the nickname Osama Boris Laden.
Boris famously promised to lie down in front of the bulldozers. Which I think is how he does his hair.
Come on though, lying in front of a bulldozer was never gonna happen. Boris only lies in front of a big bus.
Johnson has been accused of not acting like a proper statesman. He has. It’s just that the statesman he’s acting like is Donald Trump.
Talking of which, White House press secretary Sarah Sanders was kicked out of a restaurant on Friday night merely because she works for Trump.
In fairness, I’ve been kicked out of a restaurant due to a trump-related matter.
But I’m my defence, it was a big curry and I’d had a lot of fizzy lemonade.
It meant Sanders was separated from the rest of her family who were dining there.
Something I’m sure her boss would approve of.
This comes as Trump has slated Harley-Davidson over their plans to shift production away from the US in order to avoid EU tariffs.
Famous for making an offensive and very loud noise that poisons the atmosphere, Trump feels he has a lot in common with most motorbikes.
MICHAEL Douglas has claimed that acting roles for “ladies at a certain age” become “much more difficult”.
Och, there’s an easy way to deal with that. Just change your name by deed poll to Dame Judi Dench.