AM I MARRYING FAR TOO QUICKLY?

Dear Coleen

I SPLIT up with my boyfriend this time last year after nearly four years together. Things were great until the last year of our relationship when we started to argue a lot over things like career choices and family relationships. We just let it all overwhelm us and, in the end, we both walked away angry.

A couple of months later I met someone through work and we hit it off immediately. He proposed at New Year and we plan to get married early next year. The thing is, I’m starting to wonder if it all happened too fast.

Of course I love my fiance and he’s been good for me but what do I do about these feelings I still have about my ex?

Have I made a huge mistake by agreeing to the marriage?

Coleen says

YOU did get into another relationship quickly, there’s no doubt about that, and you probably didn’t give yourself enough time to process what happened with your ex.

Why rush into marriage? Why not just carry on dating and give the relationship a chance to develop further? I think you’re still holding on to a lot of feelings for your ex and perhaps also feel you didn’t try hard enough to make it work. This has left you feeling angry and with lots of unresolved issues.

It’s important to also remember how miserable you were before you broke up and acknowledge that you might be in love with the romance of how that relationship could have been, rather than what it actually was in reality.

If you want to give this new relationship a chance, then speak to your fiance about your fears – maybe you simply need some reassurance. And if you’re really feeling the pressure of an impeding wedding, then why not put it on ice?

It might be awkward but it’s far better than walking down the aisle with any doubts.