SHE’S KEPT HIS NUMBER AFTER FLING

Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my partner for six years but a couple of months ago I found out she was having an affair and, after a showdown, she packed her bags and left to be with him.

A few weeks later she asked to meet me. She begged for another chance and said she’d started doubting our relationship but now she knows she wants to be with me.

I didn’t see any of it coming and was floored by her infidelity but I agreed to take her back.

My problem now is that she’s refused to get rid of his contact details from her phone or block his calls and messages.

I don’t think this is unreasonable but she’s taken it as if I don’t trust her any more.

Actually, maybe I don’t.

Coleen says

I THINK it’s going to be hard to rebuild the trust if she refuses to delete this guy’s contact details – and that’s what you have to explain to her.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable if she genuinely wants to move on with you and prove to you that she’s committed to trying to make your relationship work. You’ve given her another chance, now she needs to do this for you.

I’m not a fan of ultimatums but I do think you should say to her that his number goes or you go.

He isn’t just a pal, he’s the guy she cheated with. I think if you are to move on, you also have to confront why she had the affair and what was making her have doubts about you. If you don’t, you leave the relationship open to it happening again.