Dear Coleen

FRIEND LIED TO ME ABOUT WIFE

I MET a guy at work and we stayed in contact after he left.

We have been speaking to each other for about eight months and have become really close friends through long phone conversations.

I feel there is a connection between us but things have never gone further, as we are both in long-term relationships.

I have a boyfriend and he told me he has a girlfriend.

However, recently I found out he’s actually married with a child and I feel hurt that he kept it from me. I don’t understand why he lied to me.

Do I have the right to be mad with him? We had a massive row and he did text me and apologised for hurting me. Should I forgive him? or not, the fact is, both of you are in relationships with other people. You can tell yourself that this friendship is innocent but you know deep down that it’s not.

You’re cheating emotionally on your partners. If it were so innocent, then why not be honest with your partners about it? I’m also not sure why you’re still attached to this guy when you have a boyfriend – what’s wrong in your current relationship that’s making you seek the attention of this other guy?

I think that’s what you should focus on and, obviously, cut ties with your ex workmate because he’s married and a father. Do you really want to be responsible for breaking up his marriage?