I FEEL BAD ABOUT DRUNK SNOG

Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my boyfriend for six months, but he’s been away with the army for four of them.

Recently, I went to a friend’s wedding and ended up kissing one of the best men.

I was very drunk and, as soon as I realised what I was doing, I stopped.

I feel so guilty but things are still quite new with my boyfriend and everything was so rushed with him being sent away. We can only speak every other week, so it can be very challenging.

However, what happened has made me realise that I want to be with him and wait for him. Am I a bad person for what I did?

Coleen says

NO, I don’t think you’re a bad person. You haven’t had any time to really form a proper relationship with your boyfriend and, as you’ve discovered, a long-distance relationship – especially one where you can’t communicate often – is incredibly challenging.

Even couples who have been together a long time and know each other really well find separations like this tough. You have to be realistic about where the relationship is going and if you’ll be able to wait for him.

I know you regret what happened and feel bad about it, but you have to be honest with yourself about the chance of it happening again.

Talk to him about how you’re feeling – you don’t have to necessarily admit to the kiss at the wedding, but explain that you’re finding it difficult.

I don’t know how long he’s away for this time and how often he’ll be away in the future – perhaps he doesn’t know either.

It might be that you could agree to stay in touch without any expectations and see how you both feel when he returns.

I think it’s good to think about this now rather than six months or a year down the line.