Coleen says

IT’S still early days and I’m sure your wife will go through stages of grief in the coming months.

The most important thing you can do is just be there for her when she needs you and let her know you’re ready to listen or to talk whenever she wants.

If she wants to disappear for a while to have a cry and spend some time on her own, then give her the space to do it.

As well as emotional support, there might be some practical ways you can help her, whether it’s legal or admin or household stuff.

It’s important to take your lead from the person who’s grieving and accept that it might take a long time, and that it’ll come out in different ways – she might be short-tempered or irrational, for example.

And take care of yourself too as this will be having an impact on you emotionally.

For more information, visit crusebereavementcare.org.uk

I’D like to respond to the woman who replied to a question about an age-gap relationship (Dear Coleen, July 25) saying older men are loving and treat their partners with respect. My ex-husband was a lot older than me but he was anything but respectful – he was arrogant, spiteful, he gaslighted me, he favoured money over love, he was awful. So it’s not always the case. You need to look at the individual – age doesn’t come into it. Ellie Mae, via email