DES CLARKE
Tiger Woods will be an inspiration for young boys now he is back to winning ways
THAT epic battle between Europe and America is everywhere this weekend. It’s either the Ryder Cup or Theresa May trying to get a trade deal.
Let’s start with the gowf. A new report into the declining popularity of golf has suggested that new, quicker versions of the game need to be developed.
I wouldn’t worry. Now Tiger Woods is winning again, young lads will start seeing the game as a great way to meet strippers.
Yes, an emotional Tiger completed an astonishing comeback to win the Tour Championship and record his first victory in five years. Winning all that prize money again is great news for him.
And even better news for his next potential birdie. In fairness Tiger only agreed to take part in the Ryder Cup because he thought it was a competition featuring different kinds of holes.
Fellow sporting champion Anthony Joshua delivered a stunning finish to stop Russia’s Alexander Povetkin and retain his world heavyweight titles at Wembley Stadium. Good news for Povetkin though. As a dangerous Russian, he was still well enough to go and visit Salisbury cathedral during his time in the UK.
Theresa May’s insisted that Brexit does not mean the UK will be turning its back on the world. The complete opposite in fact. She’s right. It means the world turning its back on us.
The Government has also warned that bus and coach trips to Europe could be curtailed if Britain leaves the EU without a deal. I’m not sure folk realise this. Maybe they write it on the side of one of the buses.
Probably explains why we’re almost guaranteed to get a second series of Bodyguard. Aye, no wonder, when you consider how many people want to do in our politicians right now.
Bodyguard star Keeley Hawes is even being tipped to star alongside Daniel Craig in the next James Bond film. She’s become famous for disappearing halfway through something way before it’s finished. Her role in the Bond franchise? Surely playing Danny Boyle.
The next big drama on the horizon is Doctor Who. Jodie Whittaker has said she’s enjoying the conversation around being the first female lead in the series, but that she hopes it is not still a “thing” in the near future. That said, some Doctor Who obsessives are still getting used to the idea of a woman. Not just in the show, but generally.
Maybe they should Tiger a shout. If the last week shows anything – the big man still loves playing a round. ●The Government is considering imposing stricter regulations on the sale of laxatives. They’ve been trying to keep the news quiet. But not surprisingly, it’s all leaked everywhere.
●Cobra – one of the original Gladiators from the 90’s TV series – has revealed that he needs two new hips despite only being in his 50s. It’s all good though. He now uses some of those giant cotton bud things from the show as walking sticks.
●An Indonesian teenager has managed to keep himself alive for 49 days while floating adrift in a flimsy hut for thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean. To most, this is a tale of extraordinary human survival. To Channel 5 this is their next celebrity reality show.