How not to get divorced
There are many pitfalls when you’re separating – here’s how to minimise the trauma...
DIVORCE rates have hit the lowest point in 44 years, down 40 per cent from their peak in 1993, according to the latest stats from the Office for National Statistics.
However, rates amongst older people are higher than in 1993.
Sarah Coles, personal finance analyst at investment firm Hargreaves Lansdown, said: “You might have thought that once you’ve lived with your spouse for a few decades, you’ll have learned to put up with their irritating habits. But apparently not.
“While divorce rates have been falling among some groups in recent years, they’ve been on the rise among over-55s.
“When you’re older, you have far more to lose financially when a relationship breaks up. You build up more savings, pensions and belongings and after the split, you have far less time to put things right.”
Sarah highlights the 10 most common divorce mistakes couples must avoid.
1 Letting emotion get the better of you
Nobody is entirely calm during a divorce but letting emotion get the better of you is expensive.
The more you can sensibly agree with your ex, the less you’ll need to pay a lawyer to sort it out. If you’re struggling, consider mediation, which can be much cheaper than going to court.
2 Trying to go it alone entirely
It’s great to do what you can without help but it pays to know when to call in a professional.
A lawyer will know the legal position, your rights and your options and will protect you from mistakes that will prove far more expensive down the line. They’ll help you stand your ground if your ex pushes their luck.
3 Using the wrong professional
If you need professional help, get the right one. Don’t try to use your lawyer as an expensive counsellor or financial adviser.
4 Focusing too much on the family home
So much emotion is tied up in a family home, it’s no surprise some people are desperate to keep it.
However, before setting this goal, you need to think carefully about what else you have to offset to get the house. You also need a plan to stay on top of the mortgage and bills after the split.
5 Trading away the pension
It’s relatively common to agree that one member of the couple can keep the pension, while the other keeps something else – such as the home. However, if you are approaching retirement, this could be a huge mistake.
A pension pot can often be one of the biggest assets.
You have alternatives – you can split the pot into two or get an attachment order so you both get a share of the pension income.
6 Failing to take account of all debt
You are both equally liable for all joint debts, so if an ex-partner fails to pay, you’ll have to cover it all.
When you split, make sure all joint accounts, credit cards and loans are frozen and considered as part of the divorce settlement.
7 Getting into extra debt
A divorce is a horribly expensive time when you’re paying lawyers and trying to set up two homes on incomes that used to cover one. However, it can make getting back on track difficult, so draw up an emergency budget and cut your expenses to the bone during the first months.
8 Forgetting protection
If you pay child maintenance, you may need life insurance to cover payments in the event of your death. Likewise, if you’re receiving spousal maintenance, you may want insurance to cover your former partner’s life.
You may need to change your nomination of beneficiaries for your pensions and work-based death in service benefit too.
9 Failing to make a will
After divorce, your will is invalid, so make a new one to ensure your estate will be divided according to your wishes.
10 Thinking divorce is the end of your financial considerations
You’ll need to rebuild. Start by accruing a savings pot to cover emergencies. You’ll need to revisit longer-term savings, investments and pensions, review the damage and how to get back on track.
The value of a pension can be one of your biggest assets, more valuable than a family home