He’s ignorant, annoying and witless.. this Tory will go far
MY ATTITUDE towards Tories has softened over the years.
In the past, I didn’t make distinctions between different shades of conservatism – anyone who voted Tory might as well have been Margaret Thatcher as far as I was concerned.
These days, I take a more measured view and try to judge people on their own merits and not just by how they vote.
But recently, one figure has emerged who has caused me to doubt my honest attempt at fairmindedness.
His name is Ross Thomson and he is currently pushing me to the limits of my tolerance.
Last week, Thomson was let loose on the BBC’s Question Time after making a bit of name for himself in Scotland for … being Ross Thomson.
Before entering the political arena, the Conservative MP for Aberdeen South cut his teeth on the rough side of the tracks by going to university.
Unconvinced the experience would prepare him for the real world, Thomson threw himself into the lion’s den – studying the impact of poverty and its associated problems up close by working in Debenhams.
Soon after, he binned the harsh and unforgiving world of retail and decided it was time to apply his considerable life and professional experience in the field of politics.
On the UK’s flagship political gameshow, hosted by David “Dennis the Menace” Dimbleby, at the age of 31 Thomson finally had the prestigious national platform to demonstrate everything he has learned since becoming an adult – nothing. You’ll be shocked to know he cut a lonely figure on a panel full of knowledgeable people.
In an evening of unforgettable moments – that included author Val McDermid being repeatedly talked over and Spectator editor Fraser Nelson somehow resisting the urge to say “on the contrary” in French – Thomson exhibited the charisma and authority of a low-level stormtrooper.
Among the many corkers that flew from between his lips, he repeatedly claimed Universal Credit was getting people off benefits and into work – even though 37 per cent of people on it already have a job. He also argued it was time “to get tougher on drugs”, suggesting measures to tackel a serious and complex issue claiming the lives of nearly 1000 Scots a year aren’t tough enough.
For a man so young, he struck me as oddly outdated in his views.
It says a lot when a substantial section of the Question Time audience – including many Conservatives – privately wish you were Murdo Fraser.
I got so utterly bored by his witlessness that I ended up asking Google whether someone’s face only becomes irritating after you’ve decided you don’t care for their politics or whether some people are born with objectively annoying faces. This has been my main field of study since Pete Wishart ascended the ranks of the SNP.
Thomson clearly hasn’t thought any further than the 80s when it comes to pressing and complicated social issues affecting millions in the UK today.
However, he does have a knack for parroting party press releases designed to sow confusion and conflict in the public mind where those very issues are concerned.
This proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he has what it takes for a long and glittering career in British politics.