Dear Coleen

I’M A man in my mid-30s and I’ve been married for five years. We got together pretty quickly and didn’t make love much before we moved in together, although it was fine for a while.

We were both keen on having a baby, so she was OK with having sex when she was ovulating, but for the rest of the month it was pretty non-existent.

We now have a gorgeous three-yearold son, but we’ve barely had sex since he was born.

I’ve been incredibly patient, as I know she’s tired from looking after him, but I don’t think I can carry on like this.

I have tried talking to her about it, but she just says she’s exhausted or doesn’t feel like it and doesn’t see why it’s “such a big deal”.

I’m a good husband and father, and I also do my best to be romantic and do nice things for her, but nothing seems to make any difference. I’ve literally tried everything. It’s got to the point where I just think our sex drives aren’t compatible and she’ll never be interested in the physical side of the relationship. I’ve just kind of resigned myself to it. The only thing that’s keeping me in the marriage is our son, who I adore, and I can’t stand the thought of us being separated. Deep down I know our marriage isn’t working. everything but the kitchen sink at trying to make things work.

I also understand you don’t want to be separated from your son, but you can still be a wonderful parent if you split up. If you end things amiably you can work out an access agreement where you get to see him all the time.

However, before throwing in the towel, it might be worth trying relationship therapy and, even if you still walk away, you’ll know you gave it