It’s May vs Corbyn in ‘I’m in the EU.. get me out of here’
TOM Cruise has announced he’s already putting plans together for the next Mission: Impossible film.
Rumours are the plot involves him getting Theresa May’s Brexit deal through Parliament. Like Tom though, it looks like the PM is going to come up short.
Speaking of which, Iron Maiden star Bruce Dickinson claims the EU would be run a lot better if musicians were in charge.
Aye, I bet an amazing trade deal would be signed within hours. With Colombia.
Back in the real world, May has challenged Jeremy Corbyn to a live Brexit TV debate. It’s called “I’m in the European Union … Get Me Out Of Here”.
The PM wants to feel at home during the debate. So presumably it’ll come from 10 Downing Street. Or the set of Robot Wars.
The Prime Minister has told MPs in Parliament that rejecting the Brexit deal will be very bad for job prospects. Mainly hers.
Meanwhile, the chat is Corbyn’s worried the format would leave him struggling to put his Brexit policy across. Especially as he hasn’t decided what it is. Big Theresa’s going for it, mind you. She’s even written a detailed letter begging for public support for the deal.
Santa says it’s one of the most bizarre Christmas present requests he’s ever received.
May also promised to campaign with her heart and soul to get her deal through Parliament. It won’t be easy.
As a hard-line Tory, it could take months to find either her heart or her soul.
That said, she has promised her Brexit deal will remove freedom of movement once and for all.
Which is pretty spot on, seeing as her party’s got her totally cornered.
If the deal doesn’t make it, Cabinet ministers and EU diplomats are secretly drawing up a plan B.
Sounds fair enough. As long as the “B” doesn’t stand for “Boris”.
The DUP and Donald Trump both came out during the week saying the weren’t in favour of May’s deal. That must have been Orange Wednesday.
Trump made his statement while shouting over a noisy helicopter. Not for the first time, Trump was distracted by his chopper.
So it looks like the Brexit debate will actually happen on the night of the I’m A Celeb final.
It’s the battle of jungle versus bungle. And if May Vs Corbyn gets too boring, don’t worry. I hear the producers are standing by ready to chuck in Noel Edmonds and a live crocodile to liven it up. Now that’s what I call a deal.
Six paediatricians have swallowed Lego to see how long it takes to pass through the human body. I’ve heard of bricking it but that’s ridiculous. It’s the most painful thing you can do to your body with a bit of Lego. With the exception of stepping on it, half cut in bare feet.
The British academic jailed for spying has thanked his wife for helping secure his release. He didn’t want to end up in a state where he was imprisoned for life for doing nothing wrong. But surprisingly he still went ahead with the marriage.