Dear Coleen

HE’S SPOILING OUR DAUGHTER

MY HUSBAND had a very difficult childhood.

His parents had a horrible, toxic marriage. Eventually, his dad walked out, leaving his mum to bring him up.

She had a drink problem and depression and they had no money. His father basically disappeared and didn’t contribute anything financially.

We have a daughter, who is five, and he spoils her all the time. We’ve argued a lot about how much to get her for Christmas, because I think he’s going over the top and I don’t like it.

I want her to understand the value of things.

How can I talk some sense into him? I don’t think that he realises that what he buys is too much and is bad for her. and well cared for all year round – she wants for nothing – so he doesn’t have to go overboard at Christmas.

In my experience, five-year-olds can be overwhelmed if there are too many gifts and they don’t appreciate them.

She’ll probably settle on one thing she loves, which will no doubt be the least expensive, tackiest, most sparkly toy.

Spending time together as a family is priceless – that attention from you and your husband is what will really matter to her – and that’s what your husband missed out on.

And if he really wants to do something with some of the money he would have spent on presents, there are children’s charities to donate money to.