Coleen says

I IMAGINE it did come as a shock and it’s a lot to process. You don’t say whether he wants to be free to dress in women’s clothes at home or in public, but it’s important that you’re honest about how you feel.

Over the years, I’ve met quite a few men who cross-dress to go to clubs and their wives know about it but have an agreement that they don’t do it at home.

So a good start would be to ask him what his expectations are and for you to think about what, if anything, you would be comfortable with.

I agree, it must have taken a lot for him to come out to you but you have to be honest. Agreeing to things you don’t want might hold your relationship together short term but it’s not something you’d be able to sustain.

Relationship therapy is also an option if you feel you need help with working this out.

REGARDING the woman worried her son is dating a much older woman (Dear Coleen, Dec 7), my daughter chose a man 30 years older than her to fall in love with when she was just 17. She tried to keep it a secret because she thought we wouldn’t approve.

My husband didn’t but my own mother married a man 25 years older than her and it was successful, and I knew we didn’t have the right to interfere and he eventually came round.

They’re now married and have been together for 18 years. I do worry that she will eventually be left on her own but your reader needs to understand she can’t live her son’s life for him.

He needs to make his own choices.

Maureen Asquith, by email