Gary: Tan Commander
GARY: Tank Commander is off on manoeuvres to la-la land for his latest TV documentary, interviewing Scots who have made it in Tinseltown – but in his “humble” opinion, he’s still the star of the show.
The perma-tanned squaddie – created by Greg McHugh – meets the likes of former Doctor Who star Karen Gillan and broadcaster Ross King.
And the 38-year-old reckons it’s the success of his 2017 election show – when he interviewed the then leaders of the main Scots parties – which landed him the Los Angeles gig.
He said: “It makes total sense to me to go to Hollywood. Being a soldier is great fun but I quite fancied some of this documentary-making after my election specials and Nicola Sturgeon saying how good I was.
“The BBC approached me and said, ‘Listen, Gary, what do you want to dae?’
“I says, ‘I’d like to go somewhere hot’, and they said, ‘To do what?’ I says, ‘To investigate something important’, and they were like, ‘Like what Gary?’
“I said, ‘What about ken the folk who used to get chucked off the land for the sheep back in the day, like the Clearances and that, em.. which I think is shocking.. then they went to America? Well, they’re still going to America. Why don’t I go to America? Somewhere nice in America like LA and we could speak to some people.
“But I’d only do it if I got a decent hotel. They agreed so I’ve made a brilliant documentary and got a tan.”
With Greg improvising as Gary, the squaddie swaps combat fatigues for a natty holiday wardrobe as he meets Karen – who has become a Hollywood A-lister, – Ross, magician Stuart Macleod (one half of the successful duo Barry and Stuart) and Inverness yoga-guru-to-thestars Mark Giubarelli.
Fife corporal Gary said: “It was a journey of self-discovery.” So, what have you discovered? He said: “That I’m really interesting. Wait until you see the documentary, I come across really well in it.”
He also reckons he’s going to take over Hollywood as Gillan has become his new “BFF movie pal”.
Gary added: “She’s doing really well. She’s from Inverness. Did you know that?
I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ll be in Cannes promoting the new Guardians of the Galaxy because she’s promised me I can take over from James McAvoy in that wheelchair...
“Wait, that’s the wrong film. He’s in The X-Men? Well, I’m going to hang out with Karen and take over Hollywood basically. If the right opportunity came along, I would consider being in a massive Hollywood movie.
“We ended up kicking about on this massive plastic swan in this big loch in LA. But she wouldn’t eat an ice cream, which was a bit annoying. That’s Hollywood.”
As well as seeing the very heights of Hollywood glam with Karen, Gary admitted he also saw its darker side with Ross.
The Good Morning Britain showbiz correspondent has a house with a view of the famous Hollywood sign and was awarded an MBE this year. Perhaps it was a tan-off, but Gary admitted the two clashed.
He said: “I loved Hollywood but it plays tricks on you. Look at what happened to Ross King. That’s what you can become. Me and Ross fell out with each other because he felt threatened and there was a slight miscommunication.
“He’s got too big for his boots in LA. He’s got an MBE. We fell out about that. Whatever is above an MBE, is it a sir? Well, whatever beats it I’m going to get that. So it got a bit tense.”
It was the first time chip-lover Gary had been to Hollywood so he dived in for the full experience, trying Mexican food and having a big breakfast one day “which was brilliant because the BBC were paying”. But Gary gets serious for a second. He said: “I’ll tell you this, it’s a hardhitting documentary. Don’t be under any illusions this is a waste of licence payers’ money. We get to the bottom of what it’s all about and why Scots still move to LA.
“Ken why? Because it’s actually pretty good. And it’s roastin’.”
As well as his fight with Ross, Gary also had problems doing yoga in a cave, saying: “I had a dark moment but I came out that alright.”
He added: “It does have an effect on you if you move to LA. You have to check yourself before you completely wreck yourself. It’s one of my toughest missions.”
While Gary was happy to interview
Greg’s alter-ego tells how he headed to Tinseltown to make documentary about Scots who have made it big in la-la land
Sturgeon and the other Scots party leaders, he’s not fussed about the US president.
He said: “The thing about Donnie Trump is he looks like Dougie Donnelly and is too much of a radge.”
He also dingied Hollywood action guy Gerard Butler. Gary said: “He kept on having a go at me by text saying, ‘Why aren’t you interviewing me?
“I was like, ‘Gerry, just get back to your submarine’.”
‘The thing about Donnie Trump is he looks like Dougie Donnelly and is too much of a radge’
Gary keeps his finger on the political pulse and hopes that becoming a mum will help Ruth Davidson “talk less rubbish”.
In October, she gave birth to son Finn, who she will raise with her partner Jen Wilson.
He said: “Children have a good way of highlighting when you’re talking rubbish so hopefully by the end of it she’ll talk less rubbish.
“I do wish her all the best but I just hope the kid isn’t Conservative.”
His Hogmanay appearance in Gary Goes to Hollywood is a welcome return for Gary McLintoch – six years after the last series of Gary: Tank Commander. For the election special – which also saw him interview First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, Davidson and then Labour leader Kezia Dugdale – Davidson claimed she wanted “free green fruit pastilles for everyone” and the martial arts fan admitted she’d be able to “deck” Gary. He admits he is annoyed with Sturgeon, who he claims keeps pestering him with books he should read. The SNP leader often tweets her book choices but they’re not for Gary. He said: “I haven’t seen Nicola but she does get in touch on text asking me to solve some of her difficult problems and she’s always messaging me telling me what book to read next. “I’m like, ‘Nicola, calm doon about the books, no one really cares’.” And what about Dugdale? He said: “She’s been in touch asking for cash.”
‘I do wish Ruth all the best but I just hope the kid isn’t Conservative’ ‘I’m like, ‘Nicola, calm doon about the books, no one really cares’
Gary Goes to Hollywood will be shown on Hogmanay, BBC1, at 10pm.