PARENTS ARE DEVOTED TO MY BROTHER

Dear Coleen

I HAVE a brother who’s quite a few years younger than I am and he gets all the attention at home.

My parents don’t seem to care about how I’m doing – in fact they are usually too busy arguing with each other to even notice me.

Even if they’re playing with my younger brother and I go over to join in the game, they just stop and go somewhere else.

Please help – I’m really unhappy at home at the moment and don’t know where to turn.

Coleen says

IT SOUNDS as if your parents are a bit preoccupied and stressed. Why don’t you tell them you’re feeling left out?

Sometimes, when people have a lot going on in their lives, they don’t pick up on how others are feeling. But your parents can’t help or reassure you unless they know what’s wrong, so please speak up.

It can be really tough when a younger sibling comes along and takes up most of your parents’ time. So I think the feelings you have are pretty normal.

My kids are all grown up now, but they still have a competition among themselves about who’s the favourite.

So some of what you’re feeling is probably classic sibling rivalry and it’s OK to acknowledge that.

You could even say to your parents, “I know it sounds silly because he’s so much younger but I am feeling jealous because he’s taking up all your time.”

Sometimes parents get it wrong without meaning to, especially with older kids who they often assume are “fine” and “responsible”.

But I know your parents will want to know if you’re not feeling fine and need some TLC.