Dear Coleen

I WANT TO DATE BROTHER-IN-LAW

MY HUSBAND died three years ago and his sister passed away some years before him. Now my brother-in-law and I are quite close. What I’m keen to know now is, is it wrong to have a relationship with him or should we just remain friends?

I know that my sisters-in-law won’t like it if we get together but they are all happily married. I also know that it would be complicated – he would still be uncle to my children, as well as stepdad, and I would be an auntie and a stepmum.

However, I don’t think things would get that far in that we’d keep our own homes and still have our own space.

I am 65 and he is in his early 70s. Life is lonely for us and we just want to enjoy each other’s company without everyone saying we shouldn’t.

What is your advice? you’re comfortable with them knowing – you don’t have to go into detail.

If you intend to keep your own homes, then something along the lines of, “We’ve become close companions, but we’re not moving in together” should be enough for most people.

His sisters might not approve but you haven’t told them yet, so I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. And is their approval something you definitely need to carry on with this relationship?

Also, the relationship might evolve and you’ll be together for the rest of your lives or it might not and you’ll go back to being friends. So don’t race ahead and start worrying about what your kids call you. It sounds like your children left home a while ago and, whatever happens, he’ll still be their uncle.